Updated: Sep 23, 2018
All I can say is my mindset was always in a fight or flight mode. Always waiting for something bad to happen. I mean, that's just been my way of life since I entered this world. I've never really known anything different so when my health started to deteriorate slowly I was sure my worst nightmare had come true. CANCER. Or I future tripped myself out so damn hard that I made myself cancer doomed and that I created the cancer myself. For me I just assumed I was put here to experience pain and trauma so I just found ways to cope with it but never found a way to release it or escape from my demons or my toxic way of thinking till I was diagnosed with late stage Lyme disease.
When I found out how complex and difficult it was going to be for me to win or get myself anywhere near remission, of course my negative mindset and fearful thoughts instantly yelled out " SEE, I TOLD YOU WERE GOING TO DIE IN YOUR 40'S " but I guess its not going to be from cancer but Lyme Disease. I had no hope, had lost my faith and completely felt lost. I continued to live in that dark way of thinking for over a year and a half. This was obviously not serving me in a positive way because I continued to spiral downward and only got sicker by the day. I was so lost and my tunnel this disease puts you in was so dark that I couldn't even find a flash light even if I tried looking for one. It was like I knew I was drowning and just allowed myself to keep falling deeper and gave up trying to keep my head above water. I'd been living in pain and in my bed for over 4 years so that's how I viewed my fate. I was totally a victim. I was choosing to be the victim. Being a victim is totally a choice, PERIOD. I decided I wanted to be a victim. It's that simple. I was dying and decided it was just easier to be a victim. It made perfect sense...at the time.
Funny thing is that even though I was spiraling, others knew it too but didn't know how to knock some sense into me. Little to say I have angelic friends that got super sick and annoyed of watching me break and shatter into tiny pieces slowly. My good friend Minerva, God bless her, recommended me to read the book The Biology Of Belief by Bruce Lipton. I rolled my eyes thinking... sure another book. I am not a fan of reading but I powered through this book like a crazy person. 3 days, done!! I literally felt like i'd gotten high and a rush of knowledge and new found awareness of how powerful our thoughts are was a complete GAME CHANGER for me! Holy crap! Talk about opening up the mind? I thought I'd tried it all when It came to therapy and read every book?
After I read the book I learned about PSYCH K. It's an amazing alternative technique for rewiring our brain and reprogramming it on a cellular and subconscious level. I was so curious and enlightened that I had to book a session! Session was incredible! I wakled out that day a forever changed person and even when I try to go back to that old way of thinking it doesn't work!!! AH MAZING!
That was the day I surrendered this disease over to God, took my power back and began my holistic journey to remission in the most positive way filled with so much love and hope! Half my symptoms like my pain fell off the table. I gained a new force and energy source that drove me to fight this disease in a whole new direction. I no loner wanted to succumb to this disease or choose the flight option. I chose to fight!
I'm not a victim anymore, I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I've turned into the light I need to see this life with! This for me is just plain cray, cray because it feels like I'm an alien walking on a new foreign land. It's not the way I'm used to living or thinking. Manifesting how I wanted to feel and and filling my mind with loving thoughts towards my healing journey has changed the script completely. The more I suffocated my brain with positive and hopeful outcomes the better I began to feel like it was wiping out new data and uploading new software! My body is healing and that's because I am choosing to believe that I will beat this fight. Losing isn't even an option or in my vocabulary. Now that I have replaced my fear with hope I can feel remission getting closer and closer.
Changing our mindset can change our whole course on this path called life. Do yourself a favor and choose hope, love and light verses fear, hate and darkness. The day I chose the light was the day the darkness disappeared.
Much love and light to you all. NEVER STOP FIGHTING!