Trauma, my trigger to chronic illness
Updated: Jan 31, 2020
Any of you know what your trigger or tripwire was to igniting your chronic illness? Or should I say what was your trigger to your Chronic pain? Chronic anxiety? Or do you even know? Did you know millions are co-existing with many bacterias and viruses yet aren’t debilitated or have the same struggles? It’s how God created our body. To self-heal, regenerate, repair and fight off any invaders like bacteria, viruses, pathogens and parasites. Did you know any form of emotional or physical trauma is an immune suppressent? Do you know what the common denominator is with chronic illness warriors? TRAUMA. And it can come in many ways and in many forms. Trauma is different for everyone. 90% of chronic illness sufferers were either exposed to early trauma, abuse, had an over active, stressful life or was in an accident at some point in their life. Even something like a divorce can trigger chronic illness and pain in the body. Many that were living a stressful life, all it took was an injury from an accident. Trauma and stress together is a killer. It can create cancer, illness and so may disruptions in the human body. Our emotions alone that go unresolved begin to manifest physically. Anything that’s negative and suppressed causes disruption. Humans are like walking batteries. We’re kinda like a machine or a car. We have software and hardware to take care of. We need both to function to live a healthy, proactive life. The brain, nervous system and immune system are like the software to a computer and our body is like the shell casing to a computer. Or better yet our brains, nervous system and immune systems are like the engine to a car. It’s where all the wiring is.
Negative energy drains and depletes us and positive energy fuels the body. So If you’ve been around a lot of negativity in your life or have been expose to trauma then I’m pretty sure your body has been sending you some messages. Could be in the form of panic attacks and anxiety you’ve never had before. Joint pain. Brain fog. Fatigue… you name it, negativity can do a lot of harm to our nervous system and immune system that can ignite the chronic stress response in your body which then impairs your limbic system. You know, all the things western medicine and big Pharma have no answers to, but, have a shit loads of pills and poison to keep you sick and chronic relying on their bullshit methods that are created to keep you stuck. Just the way they like it! It’s another form of addiction in my opinion. “Oh, I am so sorry, but don’t worry, I think we have a pill for that! Then you can shut the fuck up, keep needing it, stay muted and coming back for more” So disgraceful.
So for me, my trigger and tripwire was the car accident I was in, in 2013. It created even more trauma to set a bomb to go off in my body that allowed a bacteria like the spirochetes to take over and try and take me out. I was totally co-existing with many bad bacterias and virus like millions of people do. I was even able to live in my home that had mold and never knew it. Even though I had random symptoms I was still able to manage all aspects of my life. All my duties I took on like my home, my kids, my marriage, my jobs as a hairdresser, life coach, creative baker, party planner, soccer coach for my kids teams, parent volunteer at my kids school, painter and crafts creator. NOTHING DEBILITATED me or disrupted my way of life. So again, any form of trauma, emotional or physical trauma suppresses the immune system even more and hijacks your nervous system (funny how much I had to learn on my own. Also from seeing Dr’s in an another country that actually do know about the human body. Things our medical system lacks due to Big Pharma and our bullshit regulations). I was already living with a compromised immune system from my past trauma and from all the meds I was put on before that, especially all the bullshit antibiotics. So yes, something as simple as a hardcore hit from behind for someone like me was a fucking disaster. The driver basically hit the wrong person. How was she to know I had pre-existing health issues? It was my worst nightmare. Almost like I was a slow ticking bomb and the wreck ignited the flame for it to explode. Or like a small little flame that was tamable but then a big rush of heavy wind came rushing by and lit the whole damn forest on fire. That was the day my way of life became unmanageable, undoable, unrealistic, difficult and a complete hot mess. The first day to the beginning of my 6 year shit show. The end of my way of life as I knew it and my family knew of it.. An altered reality for my kids. And my husband lost the wife and partner he once had. The person he signed up to be with. The first day my personal horror film began. And people wonder why people get depressed? Who wouldn’t? If their way of life was ripped away from them after one accident? And you wonder why those with a chronic illness are misunderstood and wrongfully judged? Why would anyone want to live a life of suffering?
The impact that the hit did to my body was catastrophic. Almost as if all my circuits were set off. No one else in the car was affected in the same way as I was. But unfortunately it took many, many Dr’s, and 5 long, painful and debilitating years to find out why. Only thing I was aware of that could have contributed was having Chiari-malformation. The hit for me was so hard. Like sprinting straight into a brick wall or like a reckoning ball that came out of no where and knocked me out. I literally felt my brain shake inside my skull. I felt my neck snap. It all happened so fast, it shocked us all. So, for someone like me, the one who was already a sensitive human being, the whole event traumatized me. The visions of the accident plagued me over and over again like a broken record for 5 years. It created another thing to add to my pre-existing PTSD that western medicine kept trapped and suppressed in my body. And the pain I instantly got in my neck and back never went away. Even with all the pain meds and muscle relaxers, chiropractic work, massage and Physical therapy…. My life was never the same. My life from that day forward continued to spiral down. Chronic pain was my middle name and victim was my nickname. The brain fog had me living in a cloud of fog and I couldn’t remember a damn thing. It’s like I had no thinking brain and a non functioning body. I couldn’t do hair anymore due to the neck and back pain along with the new tremors that was ignited after the car accident. I could barely hold my shears without them falling off my fingers. I would drop plates and broke many glasses trying to just drink a glass water.
So because this accident triggered and ignited so much in me it also caused more impairment to my limbic system, the part of the brain that controls the fight or flight and stress response, I developed Mast cell Activation syndrome ( things western medicine knows little about) I became sensitive to all chemicals, toxins and just about all foods. It triggered all the metals that my blood was being exposed to from being a hairdresser for over 20 years. And from being a painter. Again things western medicine would have never told me because they knew noting but pharmaceuticals. We also ended up finding out that we had mold in our carpet that we were unaware of until I went down my health discovery journey to put my broken pieces together after western medicine had no answers or real solutions for me. I grew up playing all day in a house next door that was covered in mold and decaying so my body somehow managed to live with it. But I do know now it was the culprit to my chronic bronchitis that later turned into COPD.
I felt like I was dying. An impaired limbic system keeps us locked in a fear based mindset and turns on the chronic stress response receptors, along with the chronic inflammation receptors. I was literally scared of everything because I became sensitive to everything. I began having fear while driving or getting into any car. Anxiety and panic attacks on a whole other level. OMG! I couldn’t go into any environment that had any mold or chemicals. Couldn’t go near the perfume isle or beauty salons, even the cleaning isle at the grocery store made me so sick and would set off so much pain in my body. It would feel like my whole body and brain was being set on fire. I know, sounds crazy right? Well trust me, it was horrific to be fearful of the planet, people, places and food.
In the beginning because of my body pain and anxiety, I was on massive doses of pain meds and muscle relaxers along with anxiety and antidepressant pills. The brain fog was so horrid that I began having early dementia like symptoms. I’d forget where I was driving and would have to pull over. I’d be stone cold blank for about 3-5 long torturous minutes that felt like a lifetime, even though I was just down the street from my own home. I could barely hold the steering wheel due to my tremors and neck pain but I did it anyways because I was trying to live. Until I had no choice but to stop driving all together. I mean, the fact Dr’s put me on all these meds and not one Dr told me not to drive on all those drugs is so criminal to me. Yet millions are driving around all doped up on government form street drugs like anxiety meds, muscle relaxers and pain meds..aka synthetic heroine. Or better yet all amped up on stimulants like energy drinks, ADHD meds…aka meth and cocaine. This system only knows how to create addicts and chronic illness. They’ve mastered how to avoid the root cause by giving us bandaids and suppressing our bodies ability to heal. I know for a fact that all the pharmaceuticals I was given gave me side affects like the brain fog and they most definitely without a doubt prolonged and delayed my healing from the accident and the bacteria it ignited in my body. If I knew then what I know now, I could have prevented all these years I lost from having faith in our medical system and western medicine. How would this not create depression? Who in the hell would want to suffer and lose their way of life for that long? Why would anyone want to live in constant pain? Victims don’t just become victims for no damn good reason. And our system supports and loves victims. They thrive on them. Here, take a pill for this and take this pill for that….ugh.
My body not being able to physically work all my jobs and career or do any of the things I loved after that wreck, causing my health to fail, living with all that physical pain and all the mistakes I’d made in my life, just laying in my bed was like living in my own hell or personal prison. After 6 burning years of it I gave up. I surrendered it all to God because I became suicidal. I did not want to die but I felt like I was dying or being tortured. At one point I thought I was being cursed. It was all so crazy. I didn’t want my kids and my husband to have this form of a mother or wife anymore. I thought at the time that I would be saving them and myself from all this. Being on so many meds I just wanted to take them all at once and be done with it. Not being the mother, wife and friend I used to be after the accident was inhumane. But because I loved them all so much, part of me knew it I had to keep trying and that it would be totally selfish of me to give up. My heart and soul knew I didn’t want them living without me whether that meant having a sick and broken down version of me or not. So I fell to my knees and surrendered. It was my turning point, my awakening with God that stirred the pot for my spiritual awakening. To take my power back!
The car accident was my tripwire. Before that my body was totally able to manage any negative disruption I had going on from any previous issues like my carpel tunnel symptoms from doing hair, holding babies, painting, and making cakes was completely manageable and under control. But after the accident something went hay wire and caused me to have tremors in my arms and hands, muscle spasms all over my body. Along with it causing my usual headaches I suffered from, from having Chiari-malformation, became unlivable and unmanageable after the accident. Then comes the Spirochetes aka Lyme bacteria I had been co-existing with but never knew, became reactivated and began ravaging my body from my immune system becoming suppressed from the trauma of the accident. After the accident I became very ill. I know, sounds crazy and complicated but years of putting my broken health puzzle pieces back together, it all makes perfect sense. Kinda like...deeerrrrr, duh, no wonder!
So little to say 5 years later when I got my Lyme diagnoses, and educated on what the hell was actually really going on in my body after that accident happened, Lyme was my wake up call to to seek real healing. A wake up to learn how to love on my self. A type of love I’d been craving and seeking my entire life. A love that only I could give myself. The real message God was trying to tell me all along. Being the giver that I am, I never knew how to give back to myself. I gave and gave to others from my heart never thinking it wasn’t serving me in the best way. Even though it’s who I am and felt good doing it and just how my heart works, learning to do the work to really get my life back was the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn but the most rewarding. Giving from an empty bucket is never safe for anyone and I was tapped out by the time I got hit. It was my last string.
Part of me is still letting go of my anger and resentment over this car accident for ruining my life ( at the time ) but after all these years of healing, at the same time I have learned to embrace it and see the beauty in all of it because if not for that accident I wouldn’t have found my life purpose or learned self-love and self-care. I see it as a blessing now. It led me to my destiny to help save others that are living with pain and suppressed trauma. It guided me to become the helper and healer that I am now. It helped me become a warrior of survival. It helped me become a leader and a warrior in the war for the chronic illness and Lyme disease community. It helped me become a truth seeker for health for mankind. It helped empower me to become a holistic healer with energy healing, mindset change and subconscious reprogramming. It helped me learn about the brain and our stress response. It helped me study the impact of any trauma to the human body. It helped me become an awareness warrior about toxic living and western medicines medical abuse they are committing and the injustice due to their lack of knowledge and eduction about trauma and bacteria. Trauma, stress and bacteria together is the secret poison to ignite chronic illness. Today I am grateful for this accident because It helped me learn about the real ways to healing and how the body is a magical healing machine!
Last, in 2017 I got so sick of being sick and so tired of being a lab rat for big Pharma and being a pill popper that I decided to jumped off the human experiment train with western medicine. I WANTED REAL ANSWERS AND SOLUTIONS. I made the choice to take a detour and took the alternative and holistic route. In 2018 I was able to heal everything else the accident triggered to go off in my body by seeing a Holistic Dr in Mexico. I still can’t ever go back to my old way of life of living due to this accident and all it took from me. But it turns out, God had other plans for me and needed to prove to me I could still be a helper in this world without my hands, a strong neck and back. I am so good with that. It sure is shitty to have to say that fast forward almost 7 years, that I am still struggling with my issues I got from that accident. But the good thing is it doesn’t stop me from living my life anymore due to stem cells, a good spine specialist and an amazing chiropractor to keep my neck, spine and lumbar aligned…. most likely forever. Having the right mindset, belief system and team behind you is all it takes! We can heal from just about anything! But if you have any suppressed trauma or trapped emotions, please begin to heal them so you’re not plagued with chronic pain and illness just from a small hiccup. One small hiccup could be your tripwire or trigger that can end your bodies ability to function.
Healing our past allows us to move forward and become the best version of ourselves. Detox, mindset change, diet and lots of self-love was my secret healing potion to winning my battle with a chronic illness and chronic pain.
I’d be Honored to be on your team to help you take your own healing power back! Thank you for taking the time to read what my tripwire and trigger was to my chronic illness. I will forever be looking out for anyone that's driving begin me lol!